Sunday, May 24, 2009

Reconnecting, good or bad?

I've spent the last week reconnecting with old friends, and making plans with new ones. It started with Katie, we haven't talked in years, since middle school, but it was so great getting to know little bits of her on Facebook, and we decided to hang out. It was a blast, and we're having a playdate Thursday :) So that obviously went well. Well, last week Kaila started talking to me too. She and I haven't talked since before graduation, we had a massive falling out, which I'm not going to get into, for her sake and mine own. Well, it's just weird because I like her, she knows more about me than a lot of people ever will, and I love her family. But, it's hard. I've gone through a radical change in the last year, not just with having Kaelyn, but that is a huge part of it. But, I feel like I don't want to share myself with the people who left and are coming back now. I want to share myself with the people who were with me when the going got tough, when I was 9 months pregnant and they were rubbing my feet, and helping me study, and everything else my fiance and my new friends have done for me. Is it selfish? Is it wrong to not want to go back to high school? I didn't think anything of it until I started talking to Mat today. He's great, by the way, and I am so happy that his life is going so well, but do I want to stay connected to my past? I didn't like who I was then, will I like it now? And if you three people are reading this, I love you guys, I really do. PLEASE don't take this as me trying to cut ties to any or all of you, I'm just trying to grow out of highschool, and I want to make sure that my highschool friends have the same goal, cause I don't want to be stuck there forever.

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